Forgiving the Inexcusable

Attribution

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” ― C.S. Lewis

Inexcusable is defined as "impossible to excuse or justify; unpardonable." 

A list of synonyms for this word includes unforgivable, indefensible, unjustifiable, outrageous, unpardonable, unwarrantable, inexpiable.

Sounds like we've got a big task ahead of us if we as Christians are expected to forgive the inexcusable.

Have you ever had anything happen to you that you believed or felt was inexcusable?  Stop and think -- anything so horrible that it was unforgivable or unpardonable?

Forgive a personal reference here.  Almost two decades ago, I received a call on a Friday evening.  My mother's voice at the other end of the line held a shakiness and the sound of tears.

I was impatient.  We were to meet friends for dinner soon.  So I pushed her to hurry.  That's when she blurted out that a nephew had been the victim of thieves.  At first, I didn't quite get the gist of her words, but quickly came to understand that my nephew had been murdered.

Murdered.  Stolen from us in cold blood.  Gunned down by a man who believed that my nephew and his wife might be having an affair.  They were former high school sweethearts but had each gone away to college and married other people.  This man just happened to see them talking at a company picnic where both families were in attendance.  All a huge mistake in so many ways.

Proud of his plan to kill my nephew, this man told his wife and eldest son what he intended to do.  Of course, their words amounted to hearsay on police reports and were not admissible in the courtroom.

Because no weapon was found and the suspected murderer couldn't be placed at the scene of the crime, and despite his running away and hiding in another state for some months, the jury found him not guilty.

Murdered.  Stolen from us in cold blood.  Inexcusable act.  Forgive this man?  How were we to do that?  My brother lost a son, I lost a nephew, a young boy lost his father, my mother lost a grandson -- our family lost a whole person, leaving an empty place at the table in the heart of every family gathering.  

We were supposed to forgive this act of violence, this inexcusable act?

Yes, we were to be Christians.  We were supposed to forgive.  I have tried, and I know others in the family have tried.  Some of us have been successful.

How you might ask?  By relying on the Word of God to be our Guide and by reflecting on the truth that God gave his only Son to save us from our sins, some of which are likely inexcusable in the eyes of some.  God's Son shed His blood for us, for our inexcusable acts.

What will you do when something inexcusable happens to you, a member of your family, in your workplace?  Will you be able to forgive the inexcusable?

Attribution

Linking up with the Write It, Girl Summer Link-up!  Won't you join us?

Legend of the Dogwood Tree

About this time of year, our dogwood trees begin to start their annual show.  Our trees are not hybridized trees, but naturalized as you would find them in the forest.  And that's partly because these trees were part of the original farm grounds where our home is built, at the edge of some woods. 

Ours trees look more like the ones to the right, than the full ones you might find growing free without other trees encroaching.  I don't prefer one over the other -- both are beautiful as part of God's creation.

Perhaps you have hard of the legend of the dogwood tree.  And if you have, I apologize for repeating it here.  If you haven't, I hope you'll enjoy it. 

Long before the Native Americans determined that the American dogwood was hard and therefore useful for making skewers or daggers, or smaller utilitarian tools, a culture already knew of the dogwood.  That culture looked upon creation as the natural wonders offered at the hands of the Creator.  Here began the legend of the dogwood tree identifying it with the Crucifixion.

What could be more natural as the delicately brilliant white blossoms dazzle man's vision in spring?  In medieval times, man's passion at this time of year was focused entirely on the Passion of the Lord Jesus Christ, His suffering and the redeeming act of His love.

The blossoms are four-petaled, forming a cross with two short petals and two long ones.  At the edge of each petal, you will find small holes, brown on one side and rusty on the other, reminiscent of the nails that pierced our Lord.  The center of the blossom reflects the cross He was forced to wear.

I could attempt to rewrite for you here the words of the Legend handed down through the years, but I will choose to copy it in from Tradition in Action:

"At the time of Our Lord’s Crucifixion, the dogwood used to have the size of the oak and other forest trees. Because the wood was so firm and strong and there were few trees in the Middle East that were very large, it was chosen to be the wood for the crosses used in crucifixions of criminals.

Thus, the wood of the cross that would bear Our Lord and Savior was made from the dogwood tree. To be used thus for such a cruel purpose, however, greatly distressed the tree. Sensing this, the crucified Christ said to it:

'Because of your compassion and pity for My suffering, never again shall the dogwood tree grow large enough to be used as a cross. Henceforth, you shall be slender and bent and twisted and your blossoms shall be in the form of a cross.

'On the outer edge of each petal there will be nail prints, and the center of the flower will resemble the cruel crown of thorns placed on My head, with bright red clusters once again recalling the blood I shed. Thus, all who see this will remember Me.'"

No one seems to know when the legend first appeared.  What can be gathered from this beautiful story is a reaction from people who were familiar with the Life, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ and who were deeply moved by the imprints of His love around them.  Inspiration for this legend must be a true and profound love for Christ.

  

 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your

flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,

having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood

against us and condemned us; he has taken it away,

nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities,

he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

Colossians 2:13-15

Moving ahead to a glorious Resurrection Sunday! 

Lenten Rose Isn't Just Any Rose

Some time ago, 17 years to be exact, we moved to a lovely wooded junior acre.  Just close enough to the city to enjoy cultural activities and an easy commute.  And also near good medical care, easy shopping, and a great church home.

We now refer to this luscious setting as Meyer Woods.  You see there are about 25 old growth Douglas firs, several cedars, and one lonely pine dotting our property.  And beneath them grow shade loving plants -- ferns, azaleas, holly, rhododendrons, hydrangeas and many others.  But there was one spot that hadn't been landscaped and cultivated.  Our future perennial garden would lie there.

As we began to think about what to plant, I discovered a plant neither of us knew much about -- helleborus.  All its characteristics fit perfectly:

• Soil preference:  moist and well-drained.  The Pacific NW has no problem providing the moisture, and the drainage was excellent.
• Light requirements:  partial sun, partial shade, full shade.  Perfect!
• Pests:  none serious.  Excellent!
• Attributes:  deer resistant, rabbit resistant, good in rock gardens, and naturalized areas.  Another positive.

So, home we came with three plants.  They were planted, watched, carefully monitored.  The next February to our delight they began to bud.  We hadn't paid much attention to the varieties we had bought except to be pleased with one that flowers white and the others a rather dusky pink or rose color.  

The rose-colored buds began to open first.  Amazingly it was the week or so prior to Ash Wednesday when we noticed the blossoms.  I was curious just what the name of this odd-colored plant was.  Locating the tag from the plant was easy, and to my surprise the varietal name was Lenten Rose.

How timely I thought that its blooms appeared near the beginning of Lent.  I did a little research and found that their timing was not peculiar to our region but peculiar to the plant itself.

Now each February, I watch and wait -- and they are blooming now.  I must confess the photo is not one of ours.  The rains and the wet weather have made photography almost a non-event with my camera lately, so I borrowed this from Dayton Nurseries.

What a lovely addition to our Lenten experience each year.  The blossoms are another reminder of the season and the cost paid on the cross.  God's gift, a cross and nails, and the forgiveness of our sins.

Jesus was given to you, and with the help of those who don't know the law,
you put him to death by nailing him to a cross.  But this was God's plan
which he had made long ago; he knew all this would happen.
God raised Jesus from the dead and set him free from the pain of death,
because death could not hold him.
Acts 2:23-24 (NCV)

A Message for Suzanne

I follow several of my favorite writers on Facebook, and this morning Lysa TerKeurst used the following verse of Scripture in her post:  "A fools lips walk into a fight and his mouth invites a beating."  These words are found in Proverbs 18:6.  Something about them grabbed at my heart, and immediately I knew what it was that had grabbed at me.  God was trying to tell me something that I had ignored and avoided for so many years.  The following will explain, I hope, my need to write out these thoughts.

Suzanne, I don't quite know how to begin other than to say I'm sorry.  Sorry for the times we have hurt each other, but more so for the times that together we have hurt your dad, my husband.  For 30 years now, we have each allowed our pride and stubborness and yes, our words, get in the way of maintaining a peaceful relationship for your relationship with your dad.  Somehow, "we" doesn't always work for you and I, and I'm willing to admit my guilt and my part in that.  But this isn't about the past, it's about moving forward.

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In the beginning, when your dad and I married, I spoke to the fact that I wanted us to be friends.  I told you that I couldn't be your mom simply because I wasn't and I shouldn't try to be.  You seemed pleased with that.  And I have kept my promise there.  But one promise I've not kept is one I've made over and over again to God and that is to hold my tongue when the words I emit aren't helpful.  Thus, my letter.

On Father's Day this year, you called your dad.  For months, it had seemed that we had finally reached a point where the three of us could hold a pleasant conversation on the phone.  Living and talking long distance isn't easy, but you need to know that a threesome was what dad always wanted.  But on Father's Day, it all fell apart.  You and I couldn't restrain ourselves to not "get into it" over certain words you had used to describe your dad.  I should have just let it go, but Satan was sitting on my shoulder urging me to defend my husband.  That isn't necessary -- God is always here to make things right -- and I should have just stayed silent.  My words weren't necessary.  I am really sorry that the call ended so abruptly with so many hurt feelings. 

It has bothered me ever since and although it seems we are at an impasse again, I am writing down these words because I have prayed and God has lead me to accept my place in this difficult place.  I very much want you to have time with your dad.  So, I'm willing to allow you and dad to have your phone calls alone, the way they probably should always have been unless you invited me in.  Dad and I have talked about this, and we are in agreement that it should be tried.  I hope you will accept my apology and that you'll be willing to pick up the phone and call dad real soon or email him.  He misses you, and his heart breaks when he doesn't hear from you. 

Most importantly, I have asked God's forgiveness in all this, and I ask for yours too.

Sherrey

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I should tell you that Suzanne responds best to emails via Facebook so I've left this message for her there.  My hope isn't that I'll hear from her.  My hope is that she will take up that cell phone and call her dad.  She and I have hurt each other, and most of all my sweet husband, more times than I'd like to count.  I've never reached out like this before.  When I saw Lysa's verse today, I knew what I had to do.  I had been foolish in ignoring God's guidance before but now he had literally called my hand!  I needed to accept responsibility and no longer be a fool in subjecting my husband's heart to hurt by my lips and my words.

 

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I'm linking up with Joan over at Grace Cafe today, a part of her Reflections of His Grace blog.  Won't you join me there to read Joan's post for today as well as those of others who have linked up?  You won't be sorry!