Beck Gambill writes some of the most thought provoking and heart warming blogs on the planet. My favorite day of the week is starting to be today, Thursday, because Beck has formed Sister to Sister, "a time every Thursday for Christian women to connect from the heart." Beck provides us with a word, like today's word "receiving," and those of us interested write a 500-word or less post using that word. Sometimes they're easy, sometimes not. But as a wannabe writer, I've decided to use it as practice time. So, here goes.
Receiving is definitely not the easiest thing I do in my life. For one thing, I was taught to give -- give of myself, what I have, the talents God has given me. That is one thing I remember about my mom that is a cherished memory -- her giving spirit. For me to give is so easy, and often my calendar shows that I'm in "giving mode!" I have trouble saying no to opportunities of sharing what I'm able to share.
However, when put on the receiving end of giving, I tend to play the game the slugs (they're abundant in Oregon!) play and I roll up and hide in my shell of "Oh, no, I can take care of that myself." Good example coming up. I'm facing surgery soon and offers have been coming in for meals to help my husband and me. Do you think we've yet to accept an offer of a meal? Nope, not us, we're going to be just fine. We've done it before; we'll likely to do it again.
Why is it so hard? I've pondered this word "receiving" all day and I've prayed to God about why it's so hard for me to accept something offered. The day's almost over and I know what it is -- I think that it makes me appear weak, helpless, too needy, and so many other similar things. What I need to do is work on that part of me and ask God to help me learn to be accepting and to put those negative thoughts aside. Because in my not accepting, I'm not allowing another of God's servants to do their sharing. Being a stumbling block is not what I want to be.
Thanks, Beck, for offering up a word that has caused me to reconsider who I am when I have the opportunity to receive from another!